There Are Better Ways To Kill A Woman…narrating romantic abstract disguised in a stream of consciousness by El Osas Iyalekhue

There Are Better Ways To Kill A Woman…narrating romantic abstract disguised in a stream of consciousness.

 By EL Osas Iyalekhue

There are better ways to kill a woman …and vice versa, we are all victims and perpetrators of heart breaks. Everyone is pointing fingers. These fingers do other things at other times, and that’s why somebody’s heart got broken in the first place.  Isn’t everybody talking about sex, failed relationships and who broke who’s heart? We all just sing it.  A million Wizkids, and Davidos, plenty o f songs, endless lyrics, and still nothing said. But there’s no rule that says don’t sing shit. Anybody with a voice deserves to sing something with it.

Women do nothing but complain with their voices, someone should do a movie about that. Talking about voice I saw some real good African films recently, Dazzling Mirage and Love or Something Like That.  These movies seduced the smile of my mind. Nonetheless,  I am still curious about October 1, or confused about the plot, and all these people who say Thirty Days In Atlanta  isn’t all that. I enjoyed the movie though, considering my fallout without Half A Yellow Sun.  And still, after all the shenanigan of complaining nothing will change the fact that Obama is the esteemed Chief Priest of the Gay Movement. Oh my…sorry, I forgot we were talking about movies and voices. Man, Old age is a bitch!

I recently re-validated it, that the most profound way to kill a woman, is to ignore her. Haters a la gossip mongers get 'more irritated when you ignore them. The word has been around about male entertainers who are gay from here to Lagos, they all just ignored it, well I didn’t get irritated, I am still talking about it, but trust me I am not a hater, I just hate the game, not the gay players. Better don’t touch me though. Some things are just simply unacceptable.

After Jennifer and Josephine, I met Jasmine, and she too got pregnant. She and I have aborted more ideas than the ones we executed. We had all the right reasons and all the wrong ones too. Abortion is an abomination, but we are justified. Better to kill little ideas for big dreams to come true. So we gave up nine to five for our dreams. It’s paying off gradually…and it’s so much drama at Theatre-El.  Plus I just introduced a Live Magazine with Cece Nathaniel, at The Fellowship.

One can never totally know a woman, that nagging pretty confusion. I only said there are better ways to kill a woman, I never promised you were going figure out the woman in this piece. So why are you all still wondering what I am talking about? Thanks, Cynthia Morgan, you inspired this whole complex reggae; thanks for being faithful and keeping to your promises. I am happy for you, your music still sounds better than what these other  wanna bee bitches sing.  By the way the “B” word is yours, not mine; it is your Kingston property.

My Ex called last night, and she said she was writing a stage play titled Love Don’t Cost a Thing. She was stuck about what to make one of characters say in response to a significant line which captures the fallacy of the title of her play, so I told her to make the character say “love don’t cost a thing cos it’s not real.  You can’t put money on what you can’t see”. She rejected it. Well I am putting it into the drama I am presently writing…There Are Better Ways to Kill a Woman.

In this last scene which is also the first, Mary J just walked into the room.  I met her long ago; it was love at first sight. We are still inseparable, she takes my money, she makes me think deeper, I stayed off her for two years. And those other six months, not the recent one, no, let’s not lose count. Well I had cough, so I stayed off. And then she comes in today. She knows I am mad at her for taking my money. But I will say nothing.  She won’t see me coming when I light her up. It not abuse, or woman beater case, it’s being in charge. Jimoh, Tommy Shield, and Pizzo are here and we are taking advantage of her. It’s not abuse but Josephine is going to be mad at me.  She better don’t grumble, cos I won’t say shit…There are better ways to kill a woman.

El Osas Iyalekhue writes and directs for film and stage, among his plays that have been staged are Bush Path, November The First, Walking the Aisle of Dreams,  Dancegeria, Wedlock Is Not For Gods and The Phantom. El Osas Iyalekhue is set to shoot Rage, a movie about human excesses. For stage he is set to stage BREAKING MATRIMONY.